Full Blog

Sat 27/10 - Day 1

There really shouldn’t be two 5 o’clocks on a Saturday. It’s just not acceptable in polite society. Especially as we’d been at a wonderful performance, followed by an enjoyable VIP reception, at the Huddersfield Choral Society last night. Whilst they partied on, we left after a respectable time, a modest quantity of drink and a second dinner, excellent food for future reference!

So when the alarm went after just three and a half hours sleep, turning over would have been the most satisfactory option, but no, we have to leave home by 06:00 in order to cross the Pennines to MAN.

First challenge of the day turned out to be that we’d booked the wrong meet & greet car-park. More specifically the wrong terminal. We decided to chance it and rack up to the wrong one, but couldn’t find, or missed completely, the signs to T2 M&G. With time to spare we then decided after all to park in T1 M&G and walk back to T2. The man at T1 said that actually it would have been fine to use T2, but they couldn’t let us out to go round again, so we just left the car with the valet and used the sky-walk back to T2, at least that way we got a few steps under our belt for the day.

Still with loads of time to kill, and absolutely no desire to go round duty free, we did a detailed wander round the terminal, ironically walking, albeit inside the terminal, back to within a few yards of where the car ŵas parked (according to Mercedes Me, such a wonderful toy - I mean productivity tool) and then back towards the other end where our plane was parked. We stocked up on lunch at Upper Crust, trying not to cry whilst paying over £5 for half a baguette each! Another joy was 750ml of Evian for £2.19, but buy a Torygraph and get the water free - so for the first time in our lives we supported Thatcherism! The only blessing was to read an article written by our dear friend Rose George in said paper - must remember to rib her about her poor choice of vessel.

Settling into our flight, and looking across the isle, how funny to look directly into the eyes of a fellow colleague, same flight and same row! We’d not had cause to talk holidays, so neither of us knew the other was heading in the same direction. Spooky n’est pas?

A pleasant surprise was that the in-flight menu had fairly good prices for food and drinks, so having already paid over-the-odds for a sandwich we felt obliged to have a bottle of fizz to ease the journey, and since it was one of our favourite champagne houses, the decision was a done-deal. The chief steward brought us the bottle and, on enquiring what the occasion was, returned with a couple of small bottles compliments of the company - how lovely?

On arriving at the airport we waitied ages for baggage to appear, then picked up our car for the week. Just as we’re inspecting it the heavens opened, but at least it was warmish rain. We set off in the appalling weather, treading carefully on the wrong side of the road, but within a few miles it was all over, let’s hope that’s all for a week? Just 19 km and about 20 minutes got us to El Mirador in Costa Adeje, we managed to park on the street right outside, and drag our bags down the drive to Reception, much to the horror of the gatekeeper, I suspect very few people arrive here on foot, which is probably how it looked to him!

On arrival at Reception there was such a debate going on, between the three receptionists, all in German, and a fierce looking customer. Meanwhile we were sat down with glasses of cava until the furore subsided and we were checked in by the most delightful lady, one of the three, who gave us such an engaging commentary on the facilities of the hotel, where to go, what to do, where to eat and so on. Finally we were whisked up to our lovely room and unpacked, and soon changed ready to go walking round the area.

We walked back along the coast heading south(ish) as far as Playa de las Américas, and then back, scoping out a few restaurant options for later in the week, but wandered back to the hotel without needing to test the ever-present sangria on offer in every bar. Sat on our balcony we enjoyed the prosecco given to us by the cabin crew earlier, whilst planning a trip or two over the next few days, then showered and dressed for dinner before descending to the amenities area of the hotel. Service levels left something to be desired when we entered the dining room, given that we were new faces there should be a protocol in place to welcome and explain to new guests what the procedures are, but instead we were left waiting like a pair of lemons for several minutes. Eventually we made our way to the open terrace and sat down in anticipation, and the staff slowly attended us.

Buffet dinners are always a bone of contention, we’re really not happy with this style of eating, even if in this case it was the best quality imaginable. Having to fetch one’s dinner is definitely not our idea of fine dining, even when the choice is an amazing selection of antipasti, cheeses, salads, breads and prepared dishes like octopus, prawns, pate, risotto and ceviche. Mains were still pre-ordered from the menu, and the choice of two fish, chicken or pork was enough for us. Some people opted to go to the hot buffet section instead, where another eight dishes we available to choose from. Deserts were back to buffet style, and I tried the Tiramisu, only to find that it was actually carrot cake - a very good one actually - but not what was expected.

In principle at €40 per head the choice was comprehensive and reasonable value for money, but I’m not convinced this is acceptable, and certainly not in a 5* hotel. Tomorrow we’re in a different restaurant so let’s see what happens then.

Sun 28/10 - Day 2

After a long day yesterday, a lay-in would be the best plan, but with changing the clock last night we got a default hour, and still made breakfast before 09:00. We tried to pick up our paper en-route, but they had managed to run out and offered us a Mail instead - can’t do that I’m afraid, rather go without.

Now here’s a funny thing, all my moaning last might about the buffet food experience being sub-prime - yet, cruise-ships notwithstanding, it’s pretty much the norm in hotels the world over, even posher ones. And ours didn’t disappoint - pretty much every possible breakfast product was present, beautifully presented and, where sampled, excellent quality. I may brave a photo later, as yet it seems inappropriate to do so!

On my fourth return journey with food I succumbed to pouring two glasses of Cava - well we are on a special holiday aren’t we?

Let’s talk about that - several people have commented how this is not perhaps our kind of holiday? Here’s the facts ... it had to be this week, as will become apparent, it had to be one week as we’re both busy at work, it had to be warm obviously! We found a perfect cruise in the Caribbean but the flights were double the ship fare so that seemed a bit excessive. We considered a Greek island but we’ve just spent three weeks doing that in the Summer. Finally, it’s over fifteen years since we came here so in fact it’s the perfect choice.

Moving back to today, we headed out north from Adeje walking in the general direction of La Caleta which our lovely receptionist has mentioned yesterday, and indeed it looked pleasant enough with numerous inviting restaurants, but being us, decided to continue on the path for a while, which rapidly changed from paved to rough lava, and started climbing over the tops of what would be many rocky outcrops between bays.

We forged on past several bays, noting the bollock-naked swimmers and sun-bathers (I’m not being sexist, other ‘bits’ were available and on full display) and also the numerous tents pitched around the rocks. At first we wondered if these were intrepid types but eventually realised they were actually desperate types - vagrants and travellers who’d probably got little choice in their life.

We continued for around two and a half hours through several small villages and hamlets and ended up in a hotel-rich town of Playa Paraiso, where the Hard Rock Hotel and many others were situated. After a wander round here we were heading back when we found a strip of restaurants, and, unusually for us, responded positively to the charms of an owner touting for business on the street. He was very agreeable, happy to please us and it was symbiotic too since the lunch turned out to be delightful. Having agreed to go carb-less for lunch, somehow some garlic bread managed to appear, alongside chicken Caesar and my excellent tuna tartare, all washed down with a satisfying chardonnay.

Time to head back, we opted to return the way we’d come, although with hindsight it was easy to cut a few corners across the outcrops when the path was difficult and we knew what to do this time. Still nearly six miles, we probably shaved a mile off the outbound journey and made it back in good time. On our return path we rearranged a love-heart to match our initials - well, why not, we’d already seen it with two other sets, and no doubt it’s been changed already!

Down to the pool, we found shaded spot, having got plenty of rays during our walk, and flaked out for a while before jumping into the very large pool in front of the hotel. It’s not deep anywhere but enough to swim and just mess around, with loads of nooks and crannies to swim into, rocks all over and a bridge to troll under. Of course a Sangria managed to arrive mid swim, so we took a break before returning again to the water, and finally returning to our room in time for Cava and dressing for dinner.

As previously mentioned, tonight we’re booked into one of the other restaurants in the hotel, this one is called Cenador. It’s a fine-dining take on local cuisine, and very nice indeed. Starting with proper service, we enjoyed an interesting creamed haddock in ‘birds nest’ spun potato, before starters of scallops in spinach and confit egg yolk, both very good. Mains were suckling pig which was oddly served with a pepper sauce, not necessarily the right choice. My rabbit - slow cooked at low temperature - was stunning. Puddings were fondant chocolate and creme brûlée - both excellent. Compared to last night, for about half as much again, the quality, service and experience is so much better - without question an excellent restaurant!

Mon 29/10 - Day 3

A bit more overcast today, as anticipated, so we’re heading North. Our designated region is around the city of Santa Cruz, about a one hour drive - 80km.

Breakfast was a tad underwhelming today, the coffee was tepid, the plates were cold, my bacon was so fatty it was pointless. The fruits were gorgeously sweet and the pastries, including a custard-filled croissant, fried and rolled in cinnamon sugar - delicious, so not all bad.

We hit the Spar first to get water, then head up the road towards Santa Cruz. The motorway is fairly quiet and we eat up the kilometres in our very nice Renault Meganne. She’s a bit underpowered, and it takes a while to get to 120, but well specified with sat-nav, cruise control and auto lights, wipers etc. Very nice!

We arrive in Santa Cruz, struggle to find parking for a while until conveniently find a bay not far from the centre. We wander around the lovely park adjacent, and then the “Harley Street” area of town, before heading back toward the centre. As we do this the rain comes, but it’s over fairly quickly. We find several buildings of interest, the arts centre, African Market, old town and Spanish Square. Nearly every church was locked shut, except two - one was closed for renervation, the other actually open - hallelujah! We soon tired of the city and move on ... to the only white(ish) sand beach on Tenerife.

It’s a lovley mile-long beach, we walk its length then back, before hitting the hills. Our next destination is Taganana, supposingly a fishing village but it’s set back and high-up from the ocean - probably a better translation would be the nearest village to the local fishing industry, turns out they also brewed wine, which possibly contributed to the confusion? In fact schooners from the UK and Netherlands in particular knew to pop into the nearby bay, and replenish their barrels before continuing south.

We brave the inclines and walk from the hill-side part of Taganana down as far as possible, several hundred meters, but of course, what goes down must go back to the car, so it’s a hard hike back uphill, but great fun, and the locals were very friendly.

Next is a winding route towards La Laguna, only about 33 km but an hours drive, up and down, round and round switch-backs, at one stage on the “spine” of the country, we could see ocean on both sides of the car, spectacular views around each corner. We entered this ancient town, the former capital of Tenerife, through narrow cobbled streets, parked up and went walkabout. Sadly, as is often the case these days, every church we found was locked up - we didn’t get into any at all. There was plenty of lovely architecture, and the lattice-work of narrow streets was a pleasure to walk round.

Returning to our hotel, the sat-nav said it was going to take 1h53 to return, a bit of a disappointment as it looked like eating into aperitif time, however I managed to shave 58 minutes off that - NOT because I’m a mad-man, lets presume that the traffic conditions improved, it was rush-hour after all.

Settling onto our balcony for aperitifs, we planned the next few days excursions,

mapped out our eating where it wasn’t already booked, and then showered and dressed for dinner. Tonight we’re going feral - walking into the town, or a least along the front, to find paella!

We’ve already checked out many of the eateries on the water’s edge just a mile or so back towards Adeje centre, so we head off in that direction, and settle on one of these for our dinner. It’s all lovely, but hugely over-facing, goodness knows why they  think it’s necessary to sink the British battleship? Or maybe they do it to all cultures?

Finally it's back to write this, look at photos and collapse into our (fortunately) over-sized and reinforced bed!

Tue 30/10 - Day 4

Breakfast was back to proper standard today, and artichoke hearts a delightful, if unexpected, addition to my full English. Other courses equally agreeable, and Cava flowing nicely (only one glass for us mind!)

Another unexpected happening - looked up, saw the elegant lady gliding across the patio, said to hubby “she looks just like ...” and instantly realised - it was indeed said dear person, so we’ve got chronies after-all, which is a relief as the clientele here are mostly a starchy bunch, no sense of camaraderie, as found on Seabourn, even though there are many other similarities. Best explanation is that on any Seabourn cruise, many clientele are American or Australian, either of which will talk to anyone, whereas here everyone is European, and much more insular. I’m trying my best to work out which couple speaks which language, greet them accordingly, and mostly get ignorant stares back. One or two have succumbed by day three tee hee!

It’s a stunning, clear-sky day so the morning is designated for sun-loungers, lazing around, a few bits and bobs for work, getting the blog started early and tidying up the mess I made of photos on FB. I’m amazed I can’t move the first batch, that I accidentally didn’t add to my album, from the timeline album to the one I want, but no I can’t. FB help says how to do it, but it’s wrong, the menu options don’t appear. I’ve written to Mark (Zuckerberg I mean!) but for some strange reason he doesn’t seem to have replied yet.

Lazing around the gardens, it’s time to reflect on the design of the hotel, built on a hill-side. Approach by road and you’re on floor three, only rooms on three to six have external walkways to their entrances, one and two are internal. To get into the hotel one walks (or more likely is driven) down a path that opens into a pair of tunnels to the floor zero reception deep in the heart of the hotel. Beyond reception is a huge marble half-staircase leading down to an elegant bar with inside and outside positions, and thence on to the garden, pools and various restaurants.

There’s even more though, entering from the ocean side requires walking UP to the gardens, lending credence to the fact that there are several subterranean levels, a parking garage, a health suite, and service rooms we don’t need to know about, and then on one side there’s a whole mini-village of shops and restaurants, more health suites, even a doctor.  

After hours in the garden (apparently it was only two and a half) I‘m stir-crazy so we change and head out on our planned excursion of the day. Today we’re walking along the coast again this time towards Playa de las Americas and Los Cristianos. I know we did some of this on Saturday afternoon when we arrived, today we’re going the whole nine-yards.

We’re amazed and amused by how the zones change as we walk, sometimes it’s uber-posh with Rolex adverts and Moët bars on the pavement, other times it’s knock-off handbags and lager for €1 or less (I think 95c was the lowest we found touted by a jolly old Essex girl who was chatty with us) but irrespective of the demographics, people are having a great time! Our walking takes us on for miles, we pass the port of Los Cristianos and head around as far as possible before turning round and heading back, this time taking a detour down the main street in Los Cristianos, which is interesting as it’s the only part I remember from fifteen years ago, when I think we came for an hour one evening and left. I can’t explain what it's like, the nearest I can think of is a mini version of Las Vegas.

Our journey back is mostly the same route, a few minor variations, but we cover nearly 13 miles, before a quick change and jump into the pool to cool off for a while. Then it’s time for Cava and shower before dinner.

We’re dining in La Pergola tonight, which is physically the same as two night’s ago, even though it was call Celador then - the reason is that Celador’s kitchen is closed for renovation, so both menus are being served in the same dining space, but otherwise they are quite distinct.

We’re very impressed with tonights Pergola menu and the amuse is a great opener - goat’s cheese ball, with hazelnuts and jelly - very good! Our starters are duck salad and prawn tartare - actually a ceviche on potato, both excellent. We’re going for the chateaubriand for main, and it doesn’t disappoint - the Maitre’d expertly carves (yes I know, it’s a trivial job) and the accompaniments of Hollandaise and Béarnaise are just perfect, as are the potato and vegetable medleys.

A quick word about the butters - both nights the breads were fabulous, with perfectly matched butters - tonight tomato, plain and a piquant Provençal - the other night paprika, plain and curry, the latter matching the raisin bread to a tee.

Finally we opted for caramelised pineapple carpaccio for hubby, and mocha panna cotta for me. We both agreed they were the most excellent desserts we’d had in a considerable while.

Wed 31/10 - Day 5

‘Take me to those trees’ beloved said a couple of days ago, pointing to some palms across the valley. Those few words became the last activity of the day, but before then we head off Northwards again, today to Candelaria, described as a city of 25,000 people, although really it’s a small, pretty harbour town but with a special significance.

Firstly, the main square has huge statues of the Guanches of Canaries, essentially the (once) mummified remains of the forebears of the islands.

Secondly, the local church is venerated and recently, on a visit, Pope Benedict granted it Basilica status. If there’s been a papal visit there must be something special going on, and as we entered we spotted a silvered carriage, not unlike a giant fish-tank, complete with tow-bar suggesting something in the church was important enough to parade around town. We later found the Royal Marion Shrine of Our Lady of Candelaria. Allegedly discovered by two guanche goat-herds in 1392, the Virgin of Candelaria has been venerated since the 1497. Today the church is the primary place of pilgrimage for Canarians, received over 2.5 million visitors each year, of which we were just two.

Walking into town, its a pleasant place, for an hour, so we head off for (maybe) older things.

Fred Olsen isn’t a name usually associated with musea (or is that just museums?) but we find ourselves staring at photos of two 1950s fruit-shipping vessels, and specifically the mascots from their respective bows. The story unfolds - Fred was great friends with Thor Heyerdahl, and was easily persuaded by the latter to pay for the place we find ourselves in now, the museum of the Pyramids of Güimar, just a few miles inland from Candelaria. Enveloping the four stepped pyramids is an interesting monument to the life and times of Dr Thor, an amazing man who achieved some incredible feats in his lifetime, not the least of which was building reed boats strong enough to sail across the Atlantic, something he managed twice, one called Ra didn’t quite make it, but Ra II did. Later in his life he sailed Tigris from Iran to Africa in 1978, which I can remember how significant this was in its time.

The pyramids are perfectly aligned to welcome the Solstice sunrises of Spring and Autumn, and double sunset of the Summer one. Much significance is made of these points, but there’s no mention of the fact that they might also be Masonic interest from much more recent time-frames. No matter really, in my mind it’s all fascinating, whichever faction was the author of design.

Dr Thor's interest in anthropology is keenly reflected in some of the other exhibitions, including ones about Polynesia and Easter Island in particular. A delicious final part was visiting the poison plants exhibition on Hallowe’en, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed!!

We returned to Adeje, again the car’s sat-nav wildly unreliable, but I hasten to point out that its nothing to do with my driving. Whilst we’re on the subject I’ll state categorically that I’m really impressed with the Megan, loving all the technology, even the eccentric sat-nav and under-powered engine, she’s a satisfying car and the best hire-car we’ve had in years. Another oddity - the cruise-control won’t retard like mine does at home, so going down hill there’s just a red flashing message to say you’re exceeding the limit, but I’m still happy!

Back to those palm trees, we set off up-hill towards them, exploring parts of Adeje we’ve intentionally left until now, and slowly climb until we’re looking back over the bay, and the entire region is visible below. From the palm plantation we can see back to our balcony (of course we can, that’s physics) and we spot one or two houses that we could quite like - trouble is they start at €895,000 ... always had fancy tastes!

After walking back through town and towards the ocean we’ve done another six miles, and it’s time to quickly shower and dress for dinner. We’ve gone quite different tonight, aiming for Chinese in La Caleta, a gorgeous little bay and town just a mile North of our hotel. We could walk the road, but the coastal path is far more interesting, and we arrive just in time, and enjoy a fabulous meal of favourite dishes, memories of the seventies and eighties: Zing Vaa in Sheffield, Yang Sing and (my regular hang-out) Woo Sang in Manchester.

We walk back on the coast, holding hands, ignoring the stares of some grumpy old men, and head up to our room to read, write and, eventually, Facebook the results.

Thu 01/11 - Day 6

Cava is essential for breakfast today, along with the more traditional ingredients of course. After all, toasting 20 years together isn’t the same with just orange juice. A quick chat with our chronies and we’re ready for the day’s adventure.

We head, via our new bestie - The Spar - across the road, and start the climb up towards Teide National Park. It’s a beautiful journey with one or two twists and turns. Thirteen km if you’re a crow, but over sixty if you’ve only got four wheels to help. We’re planning to do a circuit, so via Vilaflor out, a different way back.

We drive right to the cable-car station, but not to catch a cable-car, instead we head off in the other direction over a hill and into a lava field. Not many people are waking our way, but after deviating from the path (it’s allowed) were totally alone - didn’t want to spend our anniversary with thousands of people at the top of a mountain!

The going is tough after we leave the path, but the solitude makes it worthwhile. We’re walking across a relatively recent lava flow, dating back to 1909 we think, the last big eruption. The scenery is surreal, having been used in many films to represent “other worlds” like Clash of the Titans, Hitchhiker’s Guide and Planet of the Apes. We find a suitable pinnacle to settle on for lunch, and make fabulous sandwiches of creamy herb cheese and cured pork fillet slices - wonderful - plus of course a rather nice Chardonnay as you’d expect. Here’s an interesting point though - the local Spar sells a huge choice of fabulous deli items - more than our big Tesco ... such a different approach to food here, it’s wonderful!

After lunch we’re looking to return to the car, but we’re on top of this huge ancient flow, so the only solution is to find a way down, which proves an exciting adventure down the terminal face of the flow. We then head back to the car on a normal path, passing a handful of people doing the walk around the flow. The walk is only five miles but we are slow, averaging two miles an hour over the challenging terrain.

We take our planned route back down El Teide, aiming for Masca, we’re told this road is even more winding than the ones in the North we experienced earlier in the week. Well Aileen wasn’t wrong, the final few miles of the road are amazing, with switchbacks on top of other switchbacks. Made all the more interesting by the horrible rain we’d run into, and then the odd huge coach, which should never be allowed on these roads! Sadly the village of Masca is a let-down, almost certainly because anything viewed in rain is. We head back home, taking the time to stop at Playa San Juan, where we were based on our other visit some fifteen years ago. It’s grown massively since then and we don’t remember half of the streets, but identify the apartment block and some restaurants we went to.

A quick drive back to Adeje and we shower and change, discover that the restaurant is booked 30 minutes earlier than we thought, so quickly dash down to reception to order a cab. Our driver is horrendous, firstly he doesn’t know the destination, and I have to take him back into reception for an explanation. Then we scream along the motorway at 137 km/h, but he doesn’t bother to change gear so it sounds like we’re about to explode. After tailgating every vehicle his way, he finally almost rams the barrier at our destination before screeching to a halt just in time. It’s a relief to have made it in one peice, and with several minutes to spare we explore before heading to the dining room.

Day 6 part 2

Naughty alert! No silly, not THAT kind of naughty. I talking about indulgence of course.

Having somehow survived the taxi-driver from hell, we arrived early for our dinner. The Ritz-Carlton is a brand pretty much everyone has heard of I’m sure, but we’ve never actually been to one before, so no idea what to expect. Except, obviously the fact that it’s the location of Tenerife’s only two-star Michelin, the reason to be here right now.

The Ritz-Carlton Abama resort is astonishing, spread over a mile-long estate, with an 18 hole golf course, ten restaurants and eight huge swimming pools. There are ‘rooms’ from 50 m2 to 950 m2, the latter is five times the size of our house for goodness sake. If you’re into resort hotels this is surely one to try - not our cup of tea unless, paradoxically, prefixed by HAL, Seabourn or Cunard.

Back to the job in hand, we are guided down through the lobby, which although taxi-level on one side is about four stories high on the other, past various koi-pools, restaurants and waterfalls, to our chosen eatery, simply called MB, the initials of it’s creator Martín Berasategui, a celebrated Basque chef. You don’t get one Michelin star without being just a little bit good, two is a whole magnitude upwards, so we’re prepared for an interesting evening, which we start with a glass of champagne - the sommelier subtly tries to upgrade us to Dom Perignon - it’s going to be one of those evenings, but we slum it on Ruinart instead, as it turns out it would have been cheaper to succumb to the DP.

Now I do know that somehow not everyone of our friends is a foodie, so you know who you are, unfriend me or close this page quickly, because it’s going to be a long post...

Lots of fine dining starts with an amuse, or even two. It’s to titilate the tastebuds in preparation for what’s to come. Tonight we’re going to experience eight, served in four tranches, starting with some iced fruit served on a wine bottle sliced in two - so imaginative. Then it’s on to a potato crêpe with five shrimps baked into it, and followed by passion fruit whisky sour, even that’s in three distinct parts. Finally we’re given a wire tree with four other exquisite mouthfuls. There’s no point loading this with superlatives, I can confirm there wasn’t a single mouthful all evening that wasn’t absolutely amazing, so take that as read on every single description and photo.

Having got this far, let’s talk about the menu itself. There’s a regular three course option, but in a restaurant of this standing, we’d only choose that after we’ve done the tasting menu. So we’re looking at five starters, two mains and three desserts, although there’s an option to add in an extra course or two at each stage, unsurprisingly we resisted upgrades and additions of caviar, white truffle risotto, lobster ravioli and Waygu beef until the last, but more of which later.

I can’t see the point of just listing the items, here so I’m going to talk about the presentation, the photos will have each dish named and with notes if necessary. The crockery was about as individual as the food, for instance the oysters were served in a ceramic oyster shell, sat on a ring of stone, hollowed out and filled with dry-ice so when the waiting staff poured seawater into the hollow, sea-mist emanated from around the oyster. Then the Canarian tomato was served on a giant red blood corpuscle, again made of stone. The corn cob was actually a corn-flavoured and corn-shaped ice cream, with a corn-crisp garnish, again with (different) shrimp baked into it, their little legs poking out like hair.

Mostly the starter dishes were of the hollowed out stone variety, although the foie gras was set in a shallow bowl and then has the truffle gelatin set in a layer on top, scattered with garnish. The final starter, calamari was served as shavings rather than the usual slices or rings, another imaginative twist.

Before we move on to mains, let's talk about the wine. When we ordered the aperitif no prices were mentioned - here if you have to ask a price, you can’t afford it - we were amused and alarmed to see the wine list is in four volumes, and arrives aptly in a half-cut barrel. I only looked at page one of the whites, with nothing less than €70, then turned over to ones starting at €900, and we decided to go with the paired wined for our menu, still requiring a mortgage. Now I'm not afraid of a wine list, and can make some excellent choices but it would take half an hour to read all these! Sadly one of my secret pleasures is reading a list, but not on our anniversary night!!

Our paired wines are as imaginative as the food, including two dry sherries, as you’d expect in Spain, and with the foie gras two different vintages of Madeira - one 5 years old, the other 10, both unctuous. In total there are ten wines with nine of the soon to become eleven courses, plus we had the champagne with the amuses, it’s a good job we’re being driven home.

First main is hake served with local pork and miso foam, beautifully presented on unglazed porcelain, and next comes pigeon, euphemistically described as cooked pink which for pigeon means bleeding, the proper way to eat it. Served with foam, beetroot and bone-like meringue, it does look like a murder has taken place.

We move on to desserts, starting with the only one so far to not need alcoholic support. The lemon on our ceramic dish looks like a simple halved fruit, but chop into it to find it’s shell is lemon chocolate hiding lemon sorbet and liquor, no wonder wine isn’t needed!

Next we’re having coconut with piña colada inside, and finally (we think) a weird delivery, a flat disk of grey, which later turns out to be candy-floss, until they pour sauce over it and it dissolves to reveal a complex chocolate cake.

Just when we thought it was all over, in time honoured tradition, we’re presented with an anniversary cake. After a while this is whisked away and two slices are produced, which we are obliged to eat!

It's been four hours, dozens of items of crockery, cutlery and glassware and an army of staff, but an amazing experience. We wander back towards the atrium and our waiting cabbie, thankfully not the one who brought us here.

Fri 02/10 - Day 7

The last full day of our special week, we’re having a lazy day, down by the pool before 10:00.

By lazy I mean reading, crossword and sudoko for hubby, sorting photos and writing stuff for me. Additional details, required to compile the amazing MB dinner, means it's taking quite a long time to write up. Although the photos and blogs are designed for our memories, its great to share with others too!

By lunch-time we’re done swimming, and cooked to a tee. We head back up the 91 steps to the fifth floor and change for the afternoon, then nip down for lunch on the patio. There’s a good list of various meat burgers, sandwiches and salads but we’ve not tested the burger yet so order veal, medium rare. It’s a triumph, and certainly better than even the famous Thomas Keller Napa burger served on Seabourn, however the fries don’t match the ship’s amazing record! Another comment is that TK won’t allow his burgers cooked to order, they have to be his way or no-way, so two points ahead Iberostar, and one back.

We retrace our now oft-treaded path back to Los Cristianos, and return immediately since the journey, not the destination, is the point of the exercise, before catching another hour pool-side, and then its time to shower and dress for dinner.

We have a lovey hour and G&Ts with our dear friends, before heading to La Nonna, one of the hotel’s restaurants that is just outside the perimeter and open to the public. Here the service is not so good, and we wait ages, firstly for water, then again for wine, and its nearly an hour before the starters are started. An assiette of five are all good however so the wait was worth it.

For main we’ve opted to share again, this time a shoulder of lamb, it’s quite a surprise when it arrives, because its not really for two - a family of four wouldn’t be disappointed! It’s also quite amusing that the joint was just left in front of us, no attempt to serve it, just “voila!” The friendly Dutch couple opposite, are suitably amused as I start to carve and serve, it’s just like being at home!! The lamb is beautifully tender and extremely tasty so we’re happy, although there’s no way we'll get through it all, and the Dutch have had dessert already so understandably turned down our offer to sample.

No room for puddings we head back through the pass-door into our garden and stagger back to the balcony, by which time we’ve somehow found space for a few nibbles!!

Sat 03/11 - Day 8

Hotel lifts are only seen twice - once happy when we enter with a bell-boy going up to our room, and then once more when we enter (alone, don’t NEED a bell-boy) to take our cases back down. It was always going to be a week, so it’s inevitable the second lift-day would come round very quickly.

Before then, after breakfast we head down to spend a last two hours pool-side before we climb those last 91 steps to our room, pack and prepare to leave. It’s been an excellent room, perfect for us, we don't need an enormous suite. The hotel has been lovely and we’ll certainly be back.

We check out but still have an hour to spare, so wander over to La Calleta and back, the beach is very busy, fishermen landing their catch, hang gliders landing themselves and people enjoying the sunshine.

We pay our last visit to Mr Spar, pick up the makings of our last lunch, and then make it on the steps outside!! Driving to the airport is easy and we fill up the fuel, we’ve used one tank full, €36 which is 36 litres (€0.999 / litre - 25% cheaper than home) in 360km so around 45 mpg - not bad given all those hills!!

The airport is quiet and we check in effortlessly and there’s time to do my last photos and this entry sat in my seat waiting for our takeoff slot. There’s still no update on when that will be, but were due to leave in 15 minutes, will we?